This has always cracked me up and it seemed appropriate today...
If I like it, it's mine
If it's in my hand, it's mine
If I can take it from you, it's mine
If I had it a little while ago, it's mine
If it's mine, it must never appear yours in any way
If I am doing or building something, all the pieces are mine
If it looks like mine, it's mine
If I think it's mine, it's mine
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